Monday, 10 December 2018
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Theo: Politician earns top dog endorsement

As the only regularly appearing canine columnist, I make it a policy to steer (nothing wrong with steers) clear of human politics during election season. Other than scratching at the door, or circling the supper dish, I know I’m not in charge of governing anything; and my rather checkered history with skunks has taught me to keep my nose out of others’ business.

It’s certainly not that I don’t have opinions. Despite media reports, I’m pro squirrel (even though none of them let me get near enough for polite conversation,) and I’m anti tick (I’m sure the creator of all things had some reason for placing them in the woods where they can sneak up on me; but I can’t figure it out.)

And although I love parties (generally plenty of treats making their way from dish to floor) I have no favorite political party (always a disappointment in the treats department).

If pressed, I would admit to a small preference for donkeys (I find them no more stubborn than your basic cat) over elephants (known to crowd the buffet table.)

All of this is a rather roundabout (no harm in roundabouts) way of saying that I sit out (no harm in sitting) election season and reserve any endorsements until AFTER the elections when people are generally less worked up and my percentage of correctly predicting the outcome skyrockets.

It is in this spirit that I come out strongly for Senator Elizabeth Warren based not on her positions (don’t know them) or her heritage (don’t care) but on her demonstrated good taste in dogs, particularly (no surprise here) golden retrievers.

Warren’s well known love of goldens goes back to Otis who died in 2011 and now to Bailey named after George Bailey, the community banker in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

“I always thought the role of George Bailey was written for a Golden retriever,” Warren said at the time, “although Jimmy Stewart did a nice job with it.”

Warren also has been quoted as saying that what she admired most in Otis was his lack of complication.

“I could spend time just running my hands through Otis’s coat, drawing circles in his short fur, and thumping him on the side, his big hollow chest, you know that sound.”

Ah yes, I know it well.

And I might add that it might have something to do with our unconditional love, a quality in short supply in political contests that seem to get nastier by the moment.

We dogs love to roll in the mud, but you’ll never catch us slinging it.

Elizabeth Warren who handily won reelection to her Senate seat this month has been rumored to be considering a run for human government’s top dog.

I wish her well, and to any office seeker, I offer this unsolicited political advice.

Forget the pollsters, the PACs and the celebrity endorsements.

Get a golden retriever.

You’ll sleep better at night; and you’ll have my vote.

Theo Chipkin doesn’t do email, but you can reach him through his agent at


The Bark Box

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