Editorâs note: This is a satire piece from The Collegianâs opinion section. Real names may be used in fictitious/semi-fictitious ways. Those who do not read editorâs notes are subject to being offended.
Fort Collins- Students in a physics laboratory at Colorado State University yesterday witnessed a stunning twist on the age-old âmy dog ate my homeworkâ tale.
While struggling with their experiment on measuring electric potential, Abby Griffith and her two lab partners were stunned when Daisy, her six-month-old golden retriever training to be a service dog, heroically jumped to the rescue.
âShe was a total pro,â said Cody Richards, one of Griffithâs lab partners. âShe had all the steps down, knew where to plug everything inâŚ She even guided us on the write-up. It was like she knew exactly what to do somehow. We were totally speechless.â
The service dogâs handler couldnât say for sure what had led to her miraculous actions, but she did have a suspicion that a mishap at home that morning might be connected.
âDaisy got into my backpack this morning and got a hold of my physics lab manual,â Griffith said. âIt was pretty badly chewed up and the pages for todayâs experiment were completely gone.â
âI guess something about consuming the lab manual really did the trick,â Griffith said. âI never would have guessed.â
Griffith said the mishap was a good opportunity to further Daisyâs training, but she feared that she and her lab partners would be completely lost without the manual.
âItâs an invaluable resource. I canât even tell you how often we prop up pieces of equipment with it, or use it to write on when thereâs no space on the desk,â Griffith explained.
âPlus the bright yellow cover is great for flagging down the TA when we get stuck,â Richards added.
âI guess something about consuming the lab manual really did the trick,â Griffith said with a bewildered shrug. âI never would have guessed.â
The TA for the lab section was not available for comment as she was too busy figuring out how to enter the service dogâs grade into Canvas.
Katie Lindberg can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or online atÂ @quantumCatnip.
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